The Trophy Wife

John Chrysostom has one homily where he advises AGAINST marrying a trophy wife; his argument being that after the passage of time, one grows accustomed to a spouses appearance so the gorgeous one is no longer quite as gorgeous, but IF one marries the trophy wife then one is plagued with jealousy .. just like that Caribbean song “If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..”

On a different note, one day my Filipina wife and I went to a Citibank to open some account and the African-American manager who was helping us announced that she was about to marry a Chinese-American fellow. I assume she was inspired by the fact that we are an interracial couple. We asked her if both families were happy about the union. She said the future in-laws were all pleased but then she said something quite profound: “You know, when you LIVE with someone then you no longer see them as Asian or African or European; they are simply the person you live with.” And that is so true. For a while my wife thought she would like to stay in the house we inherited near New Haven. She showed me a promising ad for an accountant (her field) so I looked at it and said “oh darn, it says they prefer a minority” and the I paused and she looked at me, and I said “oh, wait, you ARE a minority..” It was really very amusing. As my step-son explained to me when he was age 7 – “Well I am an Asian and you are a CAUC-Asian.”


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